One of the most painful times in a relationship is when you feel that your spouse may be cheating on you. Statistics show that more than 50% of all relationships have at one time had to deal with the aftermath of one of the partners having an affair.
So, what are the telltale signs of infidelity? Before I point out the red lights that you should be aware of in relation to matters adultery, there are three things I would like to put across.
According to Brian and Anne Bercht, your partner may display all the signs below and not be having an affair; your partner could be exhibiting none of the signs and still be cheating on you. In their article titled ‘Top 10 signs of Infidelity’, Brian and Bercht point out that majority of affairs are never detected. Sad isn’t it?
The following are some of the classic warning signs of a cheater that you need to be aware of:
Your partner has become more self-absorbed. In other words, he is emotionally distant and keeps to himself. They’re less concerned about your presence in their lives.
Also, most people who have affairs become less attentive to the needs of their partners and live as if they’re single. A cheating partner may forget important events like birthdays, night dates; things the rarely forgot before. This means that someone else is having their attention.
Your partner has suddenly become very critical
If your partner is no longer satisfied with what you do, then you might be in for a rude shock. What you do is never right or never enough.
Cheating partners have been reported to be cruel and sometimes abusive. They will pick fights and get angry for matters that can be amicably resolved. He snaps and snarls at everyone.
The reason why unfaithful spouses become critical is that they’re guilty and want to justify their adulterous behavior.
Working extra hours
Most cheating partners will start working late from nowhere. They will also start having after work meetings, business trips and a need to travel for prolonged periods of time. This is a red flag, run if you can.
Paying extra close attention to their appearance
A cheating partner may suddenly start hitting the gym and shaving. If it’s the lady, she will start applying makeup, something she hasn’t been doing for the last five years.
When your partner attempts to look, dress, smell and groom themselves to impress or attract – these could very well be a big sign of infidelity problem. The most painful thing is knowing that they’re not doing it for you.
Drastic changes in your sex life
Is there a general reduction in acts of intimacy in your relationship? It could be that you’re your relationship has become sexless suddenly. Does your partner want to try new styles in bed? Your partner’s appetite for sex has increased immensely? There could be many explanations for this but the biggest one is that they’re having an affair. You can’t learn new tricks without a teacher.
They suddenly adopt new hobbies
Your girlfriend didn’t like watching soccer, but she has suddenly developed a keen interest in Chelsea from nowhere. She now wants to attend matches, she has Chelsea merchandise in her wardrobe. Your man has developed a big interest in hip-hop, something he didn’t like before. More worryingly for you is that you’re not involved in all this craze.
Well, I have an explanation, she is cheating. Accept it and find a solution before it (the cheating) eats you alive.
You know you have a big problem in your hands when your partner starts uttering words like ‘I am entitled to my own privacy.’ This is a big sign that they’re having an affair.
A cheating partner may suddenly password protect their phones, they have secretive phone calls, some will delete all their call histories and emails. This is an extramarital affair that you got to deal with a friend.
Other warning signs of infidelity include
- Your spouse blatantly telling lies like ‘I went to visit my sister’ yet you were with the said sister
- Your spouse is frequently involved in long calls to unfamiliar numbers
- You catch your partner sneaking in or out of the house
- You discover unnecessary or inexplicable birth control in your partner’s possession
- Large ATM withdraws at odd hours and odd locations
- Sometimes cheating partners will keep their phones off, in flight mode or silent
Emotional signs of infidelity
Getting to find out that your partner may be emotionally cheating on you can be so hard. I have tried to point out some signs of emotional infidelity
- Your partner starts to frequently drop the name of another person in your conversations. This is a red alarm that may mean she is emotionally attached to that person and is more often thinking about them.
- Your partner suddenly seems distant and detached. This is because their attention has shifted elsewhere
- A sudden change in attitude. He is suddenly throwing nasty words about your cooking. He is fantasizing about how things would be if you were the other person
- He argues with you differently. You have been arguing about the same thing for ages, but he has now changed tact. This means he is discussing your issues with someone else and is absorbing their commentary on the same
- They start being moody and depressed probably because of the guilt they’re feeling
- You’ve started feeling like a 3rd wheel in your own relationship. Your partner considers the feelings of other people first before you.
Signs of cheating in long distance relationships
Betrayal is often hard but long-distance betrayal can be even worse. Long distance love is challenging because you spend a lot of time more miserable thinking about what the other partner is doing. Here are some of the glaring signs that your long-distance love is cheating on you.
- It takes them days to respond and the messages are often short
- They prefer chatting to talking over video or phone. You see it’s easier to lie via text
- You are seeing new friends especially of opposite sex pop up on social media
- They haven’t acknowledged your relationship publicly i.e. on Facebook